Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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