Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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