she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
