quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
