Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
