I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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