You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
