drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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