I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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