dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
