So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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