the new term for farting is butt boxing.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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