You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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