what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
