So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
