Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
