I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
