Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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