i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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