Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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