Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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