If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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