Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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