I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
