Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
