whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
