um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
