seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
