Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
