Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
nutella sex= disaster
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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