Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
