the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
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