Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
