It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
