we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
its liver damage thursday
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
