and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
