The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
