You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
