I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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