she looked like the before picture.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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