apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
