tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
