Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
