Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
