I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
