i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
