All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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