she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
