is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
