im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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