she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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