Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
