oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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