Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I supernannyed him into submission
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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