i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
